心中的惆怅

不知为什么，
我比以前的话少了。
难道真的像人家所说的
：“人越成熟，话也越来越少。”
我不知道我是不是变得更加的成熟。
但我知道我今后的待人处事会有些改变。
现在的我应该会很难跟你交心吧。
也不愿这么做。
可能是我这一类型的人很容易惹上这种类型的人。
现在是凌晨1.48。
现在心情忐忑的我睡不着。
其实失眠对我来说已经不是一件普遍的事。
但那心中无法解除的闷气实在令人难受。
第一：我不想再见到那个人。
他曾经是我人生中的一个污点。
就是应为他，
我被人指指点点。
第二：我对于我自己未来的路有些不明确。
以前我不是这样的人。
以前的我是满怀热诚。
现在的我可能是想太多吧！
可能事情不会去到那么坏。
一切就顺其自然吧！
想起从前我那满怀开朗的面孔，
什么事都往好的方面去想，
心中不禁叹了一口气。
终于知道什么叫知己难寻。
原来不是每个人都能成为我的朋友。
可能狮子座的我一直很想保护自己的自尊吧!
才会那么在意别人说我些什么。
自尊真的是我的致命伤。
我在人前人后都很想当一位普通的人。
我不是要当每个人心目中的大好人。
我只想当一个普通人，
一个在别人眼中是个规规矩矩的人。
可能是我自己太过在意吧，
可能人家根本不把它当成一回事。
虽然现在的我很悲观，
但在人前我也会伪装，
不让大家看出我的悲伤。
我真的觉得人生很无奈。
很多时候真的是身不由己。
我想是我自己做得还不够好吧。
绝情的时候应该狠狠的砍下去。
不要再拖泥带水。
现在我只能做的是对他不理不睬。
我真的希望我在这五年生涯里能避开说有的小人。
好让我能专心地为未来而奔驰。
当一名好医生。
我真的很厌倦过那种生活。
其实我真的很简单，
人不犯我，我不犯人。
但有时候当别人犯我时，
我却没有能力还击。
只因我不想把事情弄大。
搞得一发不可收拾。
所以我忍。
忍无可忍了我再忍。
我以为事情过了就会淡化。
对，真的会淡化。
但淡化不久后会有新的攻击，
缠绵不绝，没完没了。
所以我真的很不想再遇见这一类型的人。
我宁愿他们对我不理不睬，
也好过到处无理地中伤我。
我不要当一个很出名的人，
我只想要当一个普普通通的人。
好好享受大学里的日子。
我真的很害怕我会遇见这种朋友。
所以才会导致我会那么的惆怅。
对于会遇见的朋友，我无能为力。
但我希望我能尽力而为，
做好自己。
希望这不会是无言的结局。

期待

真的很感恩。
我终于如愿以偿得到自己所喜欢的科系。
我真的相信这是我的命运。
从之前不是很有兴趣，
直到现在对这科系有着期待与盼望，
中间穿插了不少的小插曲。
是上天的安排，让我能够如梦。
真的很期待那天的降临。
我自己 已在心理建设上 做足了准备。
未来的路已有了一个小小的概念。
真的希望我能全力以赴，
排除万难。
也请求神明能赐我智慧，
好让我能够承受一切的压力。
我最希望的是能够远离一切的小人。
不再受他们的影响。

一无所有

最近发现自己变得一无所有了，
之前那段日子除了为学业而奋斗之外，
似乎都是平平淡淡地过了。
你们都不是，
都不是。
一直为了某些事而心烦，
烦了不烦然后又再烦。
一切归回原点。
让我领悟到少许事情，
人与人之间不能太过熟络。
应该要有少许距离。
这样能够保护自己。
应该吧。
我这样想对吗？
我不知道，
可能要靠以后的探索方能知道答案。

时间难过

人家说：“天堂的一天等于凡间的一年。”
这句话可以用来形容我现在的生活。
处身于自己的家乡，
就像是身在天堂一样。
吃得饱，睡得暖。
但，时间真的很难过。
现在距离毕业才拿两个多月。
怎么好像已度过了几个春天一样。
幸好我有在工作，
把工作当作精神上的寄托。
真的很想尽快结束这个太过漫长的假期，
但念书时却无时无刻地想着要放假。
人生真的很矛盾。

说起人生，
到目前为止，我觉得我的经历都蛮有意义。
有高有低，
有喜也有悲。
当然这些经历让我慢慢地成长。
教导我人生不应该这么的执著。
懂得抓紧也要懂得放开。
这几年的经历也教导我什么人是生人勿近。
曾经攀过十九年来所谓的高峰，
也曾跌到谷底里。
自己逼自己进入一个死角，
差点跑不出来。
但是幸亏有这个谷底，
不然我也不能像现在这么的挥洒自如。
若你跌入的谷越深，
你往日会发现你的弹跳力会更加的好。
所以不要害怕失败，
失败能够牵引你去更美好的康庄大道。

自己与未来

其实自己可以与未来画上等号。
怎样的你就会有怎样的未来。
最近我在教补习，中一二三。
发现不是他们笨,
只是态度的问题。
回想起以前那时候的我，
虽然不称得上很成熟，
但对于学业总是有一番的执著。
以前真的不是很会去想，
但就是肯去读。
我现在只能叹说一代不如一代。

未来是怎样，没人能知道。
只有自己能主宰自己的未来。
因为态度就是一切。
态度能决定你的未来。
就是你是个多笨的人，
只要你态度正确，
你有能力改变你的未来。
我很相信这一点。
可能我真的不明白他们的心里在想些什么。
我们根本就是来自不同的背景，
以前我真的是以学业为重。
可能他们会有另遗片天地吧！
但我依旧是我。

经过了一些风雨，
难免会变得成熟。
对于一些事，
自然会与以前有着不同的想法。
现在的处事方式是比较温和。
尝试不与别人冲锋相对。
用一笑而过的态度去面对。
可能自己的底线也降低了不少。
也一直告诉自己那些是小事，
能让我成长的小事。
当你能够这样去想，
你的心胸就自然地会扩大。
可能你会问，
既然我说到这样，
那为什么我还是不能够接纳你呢？
答案很简单，
我能放下那件事，
不代表我能接纳你，
对你，我依然能一笑而过，
但你千万别奢望我能委屈自己去迎合你。
我没有这么的伟大。
可能当我发现你已改变，
也许我会从新认识你吧。
人也有情绪，
我的容忍度也有限。
请别欺人太甚。
什么是话中有话，
什么是开玩笑，
我相信我分辨的很清楚。
你的眉头眼额,
骗不了我。

Moody

Being moody for few days,
don't know the exact reason,
don't know what to do.
So I choose not to do anything on it,
Yesterday was the results day for USM,
as you all know, I didn't get it.
I didn't even stand a chance to go for the interview.
Wondered why didn't I get it?
Were I not good enough?
Will it affect my UPU results?
I wouldn't know.
You may say that I'm being too worried.
However, it's normal for me to worry for it.
That's my own future.
If I myself don't even want to worry for my own future, who will worry for me?
Haih.....
Nothing else can be done except for waiting.
Who knows my worries and anxieties.
Laughing in front of people but crying at the back is torturing.
May be you did that before, and you would understand what I feel.

Time is ticking so slowly as if it is frozen now.
Passing a day is like passing a week.

The second thing that make me feel moody is the gatherings.
I'm totally speechless.
I'm lazy to go out but yet I feel guilty.
I don't know why.
When I'm moody, then I will hide myself.
Won't let anybody sees me and won't see anyone.
However, again, who knows?
And one more thing, who are you to me?
You texted me saying this kind of things.
It hurts.
It truly hurts.
But it's okay, I will be alright soon.
We don't have the chance to see each other again.
May be this is the last chance.
And I don't have to bear with your bad temper again.
I'm sick of it.
I'm totally sick of it.
Never and ever see your face again.

I believe I will be alright soon.
Ya, I can.
I really will.
Take this as a challenge to make yourself stronger and tougher.
Life is full of challenges and sadness.
I must tell myself that I can go through it by myself.
After all this, I believe I can.
May God bless me to get through this.

朋友，对不起！

可能你现在会说我很猫哭老鼠，
我不怕。
因为我真的是曾经落井下石。
虽然我所落的石头不大，
但已足以令你觉得心烦。
我们相识了这么多年，
从中二开始我们就为我们的友谊掀开了启程的那一页，
说真的，
虽然你每天都在我身旁出现，
我却不怎么觉得我很了解你。
只因你不爱把你的心事道出。
以前我自觉阅人无数，
以为我能看穿人人的心声与心事，
但你的心，我却看不穿。
只因我这个朋友做得不够好。
不能让你觉得可以倾诉的对象。
我知道我自己以前是个怎样的人。
你也应该知道。
其实我只是嘴巴硬，我内心是很软弱。
可能你只看到我表面的那一层。
今天，我去看你的部落格，
才让我知道原来你一直以来是有这样子的想法，
你所渴望的就是这么的简单。
可能是我们想得太复杂。
你们之间可能真的是那么的单纯，那么的简单。
我自知惭愧。
认识你那么的久，而我却觉得这么近但却那么远。
我为什么不选择去相信你？
我为什么不选择去了解你多一点？
我为什么要和其他人一样的去这样判断你？
我知道一个人孤身到外地念书时很痛苦，很寂寞。
我又何尝不是呢？
以前同校的有那么多人，
但没有一个却能够让你觉得很熟络。
就连我都不算是。
可能是我的错。
我一直都没把心思放在你身上。
不曾了解过你。
对你的了解也只不过是皮毛。
看了你的部落格，
才让我知道原来你是多么的脆弱，多么的敏感。
可惜你却藏于心中，无人所知。
可能我一直以来对你的冷言冷语让你受到伤害，
我和他的争吵也带给你不少的麻烦。
甚至他可能把你当成是我的替代品。
这个我无从得知。
只怪我对你的了解不够深，
我愧为你友。
说真的，从中二开始，
你的生活圈子不多不少都有着我的影子。
班上你和我是来自同一群人。
我们也一起补习。
只是课外活动上我们不一样。
其实这样就足以让我们有足够的了解。
我一直以为我是。
直道我看了你的部落格后，
我才知道原来我不是。
真的很对不起。
你在学院念书时，
我不曾好好地对待过你。
在你最彷徨无助时，
我却不曾伸出援手。
我是知道你不开心，
时常为学业而心烦，
但我却不曾关心过你。
希望我们以后有缘再见，
好让我弥补这一个过错。
朋友，真的很对不起！

To be a better man

Life is too boring at home without doing anything. I rather my life to be busy than too free. Having no mood watching all those Hong Kong TVB dramas. The only thing I can do is to read books. Haha. During this long holiday, I want to read many books. Mostly are fiction. The books are all about how to behave ourselves and what to do if you come across this kind of circumstances. This type of books perhaps will increase my maturity towards the outside world. We are no more kids. We are now growing. However, I still feel that I'm not mature enough to deal with all those things. That's the reason I need to read all those kinds of books. May be all the principles written inside the books aren't suitable for all situations, but through reading the books, I can think back what have I done to my friends and family. Then if it is wrong, I will quickly improve myself. After reading those books, I realize that I have to improve myself a lot.Haha. Wish me the best! Few months later I hope I can be a better person!

Hmmmm...

I was really shock when I knew this. Then I started to wonder why the people around me are like this?Is this because of my problem?I don't know and I wouldn't know it. However, if you really treat me as your friend, I won't stay away from you because this is your own choice but my choice is to choose you as my friend. It's really not a big matter for me, but I really hope that you can get well soon. However, after you've told me, I think I'm not the one who stay away from you, I felt that you're the one who wants to avoid from me. May be you feel the shyness and don't know what's my opinions towards you. It's okay. I have nothing to comment, but I never and ever look down on you, and I'm glad that you are willing to tell me about this. I don't know whether it's considered as a secret, but I'll keep it as a secret and won't tell anyone. Don't worry, I won't treat you as a creature. I really really hope that you can get well soon. 

朋友

朋友，你是谁？其实朋友在每个人的心中都有不同的定义。如果我现在问在亲情，友情与爱情之间你将会如何排列它们，可能你也答不了我。因为每个人到每个阶段都会需要不同的东西。就拿我打个比方，小时候，亲情最重要，家人对我来说十分重要，但，上了中四后，友情开始在我心中冒出个头来。它的重要性仅次于家庭。直到现在也是。但爱情只是曾经出现，不曾长久。可能自己还小吧。不会那么寄情于爱情，大部分的时间都放在家人和朋友身上。

排去家人，现在我只想讲关于朋友。朋友对我来说是十分重要。但我不会为了要朋友而迷失我自己。我曾经看过许多例子，他们为了要融合于那群朋友，而不惜去改变自己。其实每个人的要求都不一样，可能他们不觉得什么，但如果我这么做我会觉得我自己很虚伪。正所谓合则来，不合则去。人海茫茫，我们不可能能够迎合每个人。冥冥中已注定谁是敌，谁是友。所以做人不能执著，该放的就放，死死纠缠也没有用。

朋友不一定要门当户对，但一定要同舟共济；
朋友不一定要形影不离，但一定要惺惺相惜；
朋友不一定要锦上添花，但一定要雪中送炭；
朋友不一定要天天见面，但一定要放在心里。

其实如果你问我如何知道那个是不是你好朋友，我也不知怎么答你。我只是用两个元素来判断他们是否我的真心朋友-感觉和时间。什么感觉？我不能很精准的告诉你。只是觉得和她或他很谈得来，大家心灵上有一定的沟通，即使不说出口，大家都会明白。这也可以喻为默契。可能我自己比较感情丰富，才会有这一种感受吧。至于时间呢，就是看透他是不是真的你的好朋友。如果一段友情能维持长久的，他/她将会成为你的知己。也有一种只能保持原状，也有可能以后都没有见面或联络了。

其实我们都有权力去选择什么类型的朋友。我比较喜欢和一些多话讲的人交友。除此之外，那个人也要心胸阔大，大方，不小气 ，开朗和能守秘密。其实每个阶段我都会遇见敌友。敌不是说真的有仇，而是不喜欢那个人。但之前的敌我都是尽量少跟他们接触，少跟他们碰撞。很少说我会委屈我自己去迎合他们。但在KMNS我却尝试过去接触一个我很不喜欢的人。可能人越是成长，越是复杂。这也是个好事来的，让我有机会去学习如何能够做到面面俱全，去维持生活上的和平。可是，我失败了。到最后我还是对他不理不睬了。可能是我自己道行不够深吧。我会尝试学习如何去应付我身边的小人。这个对我以后的待人处事都很重要。

其实知心朋友对我很重要。我是个不爱把心事都向家人倾诉人，因为我不想他们为我而操心。所以每当我有心事，我都很希望我有一位知心朋友能与我分担。但，我依然很少把心事告诉别人。应该是我自己太过于隐藏自己的感情吧。外人只能看到嘻嘻哈哈的我，但却很少看见伤心忧心的我。能走进我心房的也只有几人而已。不要问我为什么，这是天性。我天生就只喜欢与人分享我的快乐，而不是我的忧愁。

惜缘

真的很感恩。十个月就这样过去了。每次都是这样，每当要接近结束时方才懂得如何去珍惜。我本以为自己不会留恋于那儿的点点滴滴，怎知我不能。当时的小事却是我心中很值得去珍惜的回忆。如果不是他，我不会这么抗拒于那儿的生活。但算吧。就把他当作我生命中的一个过客，一个让我了解人性，一个让我成长的人吧。我不能因为他而抹煞了我和其他朋友的美好回忆。本以为自己可以离开得很潇洒，怎知还是不能。越是孤单，越是想起与你们的点点滴滴。真的好想回去。好想把时间再倒转三个月，好让我更有时间再一次去珍惜你们。真的很后悔。唉，只盼我们有缘能在大学相遇。真的很对不起，我知道我没有抽很多时间陪伴你们。但愿缘分能再次将我们凑在一起，让我好好的弥补。难道人生就是这样吗？充满离离合合？相信我，这次的离别是为了下次的相聚。每次的离别都充满哀愁。其实离别过后才会更加懂得相惜。但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。让这颗思念的心长存，在大学路上更加珍惜对方。朋友，珍重！

Yesterday was Zhe Lun and Hong Wai's birthday. Again, it was a crazy birthday celebration. Everyone was crazy yesterday and again my shirt was dirty with the chocolate cream. Sometimes I feel envy of Zhe Lun. He doesn't need any hardwork but he can do well in his exams. His father was hospitalised because of arteriosclerosis. He looks like doesn't care at all. I wonder whether he can hide his worries or he really doesn't care at all. Last time when my mom was hospitalised, I was so worried. Luckily nothing big happened to my mom. I don't know what to say to express myself. You can say I'm sentimental but you can say I'm not talking serious for you. May be it depends on the seriousness of the matter. Perhaps and may be.

My perspective of my future occupation

Today I went to Seremban Jusco with Kent Mun, Li Hao, Jun Kai and Jin Yang. We watched "Black Swan". It was a great and exciting movie. The story line was creative and yet a bit heartbreaking. It was about a 28 year-old girl who can dance ballet very well. She was good at dancing ballet but she was a very shy and wanted everything to be perfect. She always wanted to be the spot light of the others. Then when the company wanted to have a show entitled "Swan Lake", she wanted to be the Swan Queen badly. For the Swan Queen, there was a change in her behaviour which was from a kind and lovely White Swan to an evil and seductive Black Swan. She can dance well when she was a White Swan but she failed to perform well when she turned into an evil Black Swan. This was because she couldn't release herself. She was trapped by herself. She didn't want to be replaced by Lily who was a talented ballet dancer. Actually Lily was good but she intented to replace her. Gina, the Swan Queen was stressful. She kept on trying to release herself so that she can be wild and to seduce the prince. However, she failed. Then due to her stressful life, she was schizophrenic. She kept on thinking that Lily was trying to replace her and there were a lot of illusions appeared. This had driven her to insane.She always saw Lily but actually that was the second her which was the evil part of her. On the day of the performance, for the first part, there was a little mistake where she fell down . She was sad and down. Then she saw Lily again. Lily said if she can't do it then she will replace her for the Black Swan which was the second part. She was angry and became insane and she released the second her which was always be hidden in her deepest part of heart. Gina killed Lily. Then the second her performed very excellent and brilliant for Black Swan. All her potentials were pushed out. Then she saw Lily again. Actualy Gina didn't kill her. The Lily that she killed was actually herself. At the end, she died. Before the second that she lost her last breath, she said :"I was perfect." This movie gives me many reflections on myself and my future life. Actually I'm just an ordinary person, I don't need to be the spot light always. What I might need is just a simple life. The simple life is not always be flat. It includes some excitements and challenges. I don't want life to be as stressful as Gina. Now, I don't like fight for position, fight for power. Therefore the road that I've chosen is the occupation that doesn't need to fight for all these kinds of things. Before watching this movie, I was thinking like shall I think like this? Am I a coward for don't dare to fight for the things which the others are dying to have? However, after watching this movie, I know I'm doing the right decision. I don't want to fight for it doesn't mean I don't have the ability. It's my own choice of life. I know this will suit me the most. Everyone doesn't have to be the main character. If everyone is the protagonist then who will be the minor character? Not only the main character will shine. I believe if I'm a minor character, I would still shine. For me, working under suitable pressure will drive me to success or the best. I can't deal with a lot of pressure. I know i'll be crazy by then if I were under pressure for long. Thus, I believe in my choice and decision and I hope that I make it whether it's shiny day or rainy day.

I don't know why I am down for these few days. May be this is what we so-called emo. I don't want my friends to know that I'm down. Therefore, I'm pretending all times. I pretend to be nothing and normal. When I'm down,I'll miss my mom and brothers. They give me warmth always. I always feel to be loved by them. Home is really the best place for you to hide when you're sad and feel lonely. Sometimes I rather stay alone for the whole day to relax myself and enjoy my day to be alone. However, I can't. If I do this surely my friend will ask why am I isolating myself. When I'm down I still have to entertain them, talk to them and play with them. Otherwise they may say I'm angry with them again. I do agree with what Madam Oh said that we need not to change ourselves just to fit in with the new environment. I have my own thoughts. I have my own decision to choose and decide on things that will not harm my friends besides making me happy. We don't have to change our ownself just because we want to please them. Again, If I think that your opinion is true and it can benefit me, I don't mind to accept it with an open heart. However, if I think that it's not suitable for me and I'm not doing the wrong thing then I'll just listen and ignore it then. I won't do things which I usually won't do but you want me to do unless you are important to me. Now I'm studying the biodiversity. I won't say it's boring but I don't have a complete note for it. Just it's too time consuming for me to organise the knowledge so that I can memorize it better. Like what Mun Jun said in his blog, we just need a listener to listen to my problems. Sadly to say I don't even have one here. I can't always text my friends from secondary school as the charging fees are high. Therefore, I settle everything on my own. I pass my sad days alone. I pass the days with pressure alone. Here, I learn to be strong and tough. I'm learning not to be affected by my emotions always. I don't want my routine life to be controlled by emotions. I want to control myself. May God bless me in doing so!

Crazy Birthday Celebration

Yesterday was Wei Xu's birthday.We made a lot of plans and pretending that we didn't want to celebrate with him.He really fell into our trap and thought that we didn't to celebrate with him. Firstly, we were asked not to wish him at 12am and were not allowed to wish him yesterday before his birthday celebration. We kept on mentioning that there's no 29th February in this year so we were not going to celebrate with him. Haha.He believed that. Then at night, Ivan told us that he was a bit sad and angry with us yesterday. This was because Ivan told him that we all didn't want to celebrate his birthday. Actually we had planned how to celebrate his birthday. Then, Ivan and Chee Khuen bought a cup of ice-cream as a substitution for his birthday cake. Then I went in his room to return him notes. I was wearing singlet that time to tell him that I wasn't care for his birthday. Haha. Actually I brought my t-shirt to Deon's room. Then when everybody had reached then we broke into his room singing Happy Birthday! He cried after this. Haha. Then we played the craziest thing that was taking off his shirt and pants.We put the cream onto his body. He was creamy at that time. Then suddenly everyone stopped holding him and he started to take revenge on us. He hugged me and my hands were full of cream and my shirt was dirty!Haha. Though it was crazy and dirty, it was fun. Then we went back to take a bath and continued our own work. I continued doing the mind map for biodiversity. Then around 1am I slept.

Growing up

Dealing with the new environment, I think I've grown up a lot. From last time I always rely on my mother till I can do things on my own, all of these are the proofs of growing up. In a new environment, I see people from all walks of life, and I'm still learning how to deal with them. I learn how to be mature and how to take things easy. Simply it means being not sensitive and be more open-hearted. I'm learning to think from different perspectives. I'm not only think for myself but standing at their side and think for them. Trying to interpret what they are thinking and why they do so. I'm not the little boy like before. Haha. Although sometimes I act like a boy, but it doesn't mean I'm really a kid. I just want to have fun. Therefore, I wish to have more experience of life, and be more happy in my life onwards!

Friend.

I'm going back home soon!This would be my second last time going back home.I've packed a lot of things so that for the next home coming which falls on my end of semester, I don't have to bring back so many things.Today I texted Hong Shiong for long.It was long ago from last I texted him. Everytime when I texted him he was busy doing homework.He is my friend whom I knew during national service.He was my best friend in my camp.I was chosen for second batch to join the national service.There,I met with many good friends.He was one of them and we are still in contact even though we have not seen each other for almost a year.I didn't finish my national service.I went there just for a month because I was chosen for matriculation.Frankly I tell you, I love my life in my camp.I never thought the life there could be so enjoyable.Even though I went there just for a month,I totally missed every one there.The everyday life there was so interesting and enjoyable.My camp was the only place that I really can see the concept of One Malaysia.Every day we played with no stress and burden.Then, suddenly I was told by my brother that I was chosen for matriculation.Leaving them was totally a sad case.I had countless days filled with tears.Whenever I thought of them,tears will drop off naturally.This mood continued when I enrolled into my college.At that time,I kept on flashing back what we did in our camp.Seriously I tell you,I wasn't the only who cried.Hong Shiong cried with me. Or I should say he started crying first because he didn't want me to leave him. As I said,I was his best friend and so did he.I just want to say no matter what happens, I'll treat you as my best friend and our friendship would never end!

Home Coming

I'm glad because I'll be going back home this friday.Haha.After this time then my next home coming would be my end of semester.In order to go back home with no burden,I want to finish up all my homeworks.I'm rushing every day.There few days I realised something which is very scary to me and some of my friends.I dont want to post it here.As his friend, I think I have the responsibility to tell him as well as to "save" him to prevent that to happen.However,I don't know what can I do.I don't know how to start to tell him.This is because I've not confirmed whether if he is yet, but based on what my friends and I observed, he is what we think he is. This act is really and totally wrong. So I'm trying my best to help him.Hope that it wont be too late for me to save him and I hope that he is mature enough to differentiate right or wrong.

Grateful to GOD

Finally the moral sketch had over.It was indeed fun and joyful...The members in my group gave a full cooperation during the whole process.Although we were only the first runner up,we were satisfied with it.The most important thing was we managed to build up the friendship...Now I would like to thank God because God really listened to my wish.Everything here is getting better.The war had ended.We started off the friendship from zero.I hope that there will not be any war again.Now I'm enjoying my life here.Hope that it won't be too late.

Chinese New Year Celebration

Yesterday was the first day of Chinese New Year. I woke up at around 9am and then my family and I went for praying. We prayed for our own and for our family. We all hope that every member in my family would stay happy, healthy forever and ever. Haha. Even though my eldest brother and my second brother are elder than me 8 and 4 years respectively, I don't feel like there's any generation gap between us. We talked about all those nonsense things, sometimes even tease my mom together. I'm proud and glad to have brothers like both of you. After praying, we went to my uncle's house. There, I saw all my father-side relatives. My mom and all my aunties (the lady gang) were chit chatting while the man's gang ( my father and all my uncles ) were at the living room, talking about themselves and their next generation. The group of young people (my cousins and I) were talking about our studies, life in college and unversity. Of course I received a lot of ang paus. At about 3pm, we left our uncle's house and headed towards TESCO to buy somethings. After that we went home. After playing computer games with my brothers, we had our dinner. Since yesterday was the first day of Chinese New Year and we call that as "chu yi" which means the first day of every month in Chinese calender, we had to be vegetarians. For your information, for every first day and fifteen day of a month in Chinese calender, we are advised to eat vegetables only but not meats. Then we took a rest for a while and we went to my grandmother's ( my mom's mom ) house at around 8pm. I met with my cousins and all my aunties. It was a long time since I last gathered with them. They gambled and I just sat aside to watch them. It was the first time I didn't gamble with them during Chinese New Year. Haha. See how good I am. Then we went home at around 11pm. I drove back home with my family. My mom was so worried for me and she kept on asking me to be careful. Haha. Then I played DOTA with my brothers again. After that, it's the time for me to update my blog which is now! haha. Besides writing blog, I'm searching for Jess Lee's videos via You Tube. Wow, she's really a very good singer! This is my first time seeing an Asian singing live with such a powerful voice. For those singers who are from the reality television competition like Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood Jess Lee, Leona Lewis and so on, I would say that the ones that I prefer the most are Kelly Clarkson and Jess Lee. I love Kelly so much and her voice is so powerful and her songs are so touching. I love to see her to perform lively. The songs like beautiful disaster, because of you, a moment like this, already gone are the songs that I like so much. Her range of voice is so big. The same goes to Jess Lee. They have the powerful and yet touching voice, this attracts me so much. It's so comfortable while listening to their songs. Of course, I would say Kelly is better than Jess. Kelly's voice is more powerful and more stable when she sings a high-pitch note. Haha...It's late already so it's time for me to sleep! Goodbye everyone!

New Hope And New Life In A Brand New Year!!!!!

15 minutes more would be Chinese New Year, I'm here wishing all my friends to have a blessed, joyful and memorable year ahead. Time is ticking so fast as if the last CNY's eve was yesterday. Haha. I like flashing back all those days, but now I would like to talk about my plans and wishes after Chinese New Year. After my holiday, I want to catch back all my studies that I've left out. I want to fully concentrate on my PSPM. I hope that God can give me strength and patience in going through this 3-months time. May be I think too much. Everything should be simple if I think simple. Haha. I'm looking forward to this year as this year would decide my future. In September, I'll enroll into local university. Im excited and eager to enter a new stage of life. What would it be? Will it be as interesting as my secondary school and national service life? Or it just as dull as the matriculation life? What I need the most is a good friend. I don't need a lot, 1 or 2 are just enough. In this brand new year, I wish my life onwards would be delightful be smooth sailing always. I wish my father and mother can stay healthy and wealthy always. I hope my eldest brother can live happily and have great achievement in his research project. For my second brother, I wish him to stay happy and have a clear mind to handle all his heavy studies. For me, I just want my life to be simple but interesting and full of experience that I've never experienced before. That's the end and good night everyone! I'm here again to wish you all to make full use of your Chinese New Year holiday!Huat ar!!!!!

Life

Life here is really different from what I experienced before.I do agree with my friends that  said people will change if they are put into a different environment.Frankly I tell you, I'm not showing you my true colour and sadly to say that nobody here except for my ex-schoolmates can see that only. However, part of me is still here. Sometimes I wonder, what would it be when the two people from a totally different world are put together? If the maturity is there, surely everything will be alright. However, things always come in the opposite way. I've seen and met so many friends before, but I never meet a friend like the one. Of course, when something goes wrong, we can't only blame for one side, I admit that I did something wrong too, but for me, I don't think it's a big deal. However, it may be a serious thing for you. I do accept it because I feel that everyone is different so I'll not criticizing on anything. If yes, I will just share it with my close friends which I know they won't betray me. However, just ask yourself what did you do?? Are you doing the same thing as me?I dislike those who spread the news around about your war with me. Things here come in the opposite way too. Everyone knew that and I totally dislike that. What can I do more? I just sat there, bear with all those nonsense things. I'm tough and strong but do you think a tough and strong person does not have any feelings???I have!I just hide it in my deepest part of my heart won't let anyone to know. Or I should say nothing ever from you could hurt me anymore. I believe in fate, friendship and love should come in naturally. So everything I just let it be and let it flows. Like my friends from my secondary school and national service, I feel that we all are very close from the way of thinking, behaving and sometimes having the mutual understanding between each other. This is what we call as fate. In a big big world and we are able to meet each other, this is the starting of the fate. If we are able to be good friends or more than that and this will be the growing of the fate. The road that I've gone through before I enrolled into matriculation was so enjoyable and memorable. However, so far, I won't say this to the life here. I'm begging for a better and more joyful life here. I really wish to have. But if no, I won't regret on going through the life here. It makes me realize that I've grown up. I've become a calm and not as sensitive as before. I'm hoping that my route will be smooth and happy always!